Feedback on my latest poem please :)

Posted by thapurple1 on Jul 2, 2010

Birth.
No choice given.
I want to go back home.
Water flows. Overflows.
Why am i here?

Senses.........uploading.
Interaction with species/////<success>
Why do i have to play with plastic?
.... is typing
ruoy trap fo eht enihcam

Why are the big people fighting?
.... is typing
//////greed\\\\power.,.money
:.......\\\\\System malfunctioning/////
Oh please let me go home.
.... repairing malfunction,......overriding
This is your home!
.........virus removed.

Eat 3 times a day.
Wash to conform.
<Realisation downloading>
Individuality/Choice......<DENIED>

What’s your name?
:)
blahblahblahblah.
hahahahahahahaha lol.
:(
Pain, anxiety and depression.......uploading

When i close my eyes: i go back home.
The silence.
Darkness.
I’ll do anything to go that.

This place is:
Loud
Selfish
Cruel
and
Mean.

If you won’t let me,
i’ll...............

Offline.

 

Timothy Porter 2010

‹ Hello everybody Is this thing on? (aka Hello there!) ›

2 Comments

Hey Lane's picture Hey Lane said:
June 5th, 2011 at 9:03 am

Now you're talking! Thanks for responding.

Do you happen to write stuff yourself?

With love.

 

 

SJ's picture SJ said:
June 6th, 2011 at 3:23 am

I liked your poem :)

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